My oldest son asked me yesterday if I had ever considered getting a tattoo. I told him, “No, I don’t subject myself to pain if I can avoid it.” It’s the first time I’ve talked about tattoos with my family but it’s a common topic of conversation at Vibrant Faith Ministries. We talk about how people often dabble in faith practices, hoping to create a culture of vibrant faith, but what they experience is often just skin deep – like a tattoo. If vibrant faith is to become part of our home and congregational DNA, where it permeates everything we do, then we must go deeper. One place to start is with cross+generational ministry. How do we create worship experiences that engage and involve all generations? When we celebrate milestones, do we make sure that children, parents, grandparents and great grandparents are all part of the celebration? Consider going through the last 12 month’s of church newsletters, picking out all the events that could become more intentionally cross+generational. Where might you go deeper with cross+generational ministry, milestones ministry or practicing the Four Keys? How might you ensure that practicing faith becomes part of your DNA and not just a tattoo?
From Tattoos to DNA
13 10 2011
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We do well with cross generational events. However, I think we can always strive to do better. All ages are welcome and participate actively in worship. All ages are encouraged and participate in our mission projects. We also have all ages working together when we have fundraising lunches at church. However, we need to make sure we are trully working on events TOGETHER and not parellel to each other. Does that make sense?
I feel the congregation I worship at does a good of cross+generational worship. The congregation has three different worships every Sunday (Traditional 8:30, Blended 9:50, and Contempary 11:10) our worship director has the children choir sing at the 8:30 service which is mainly consist of elderly generation. The confirmation program (7th – 9th graders) has “older” members as teachers and small group leaders. And also the last Sunday of August every year is the church picnic when cross+generation is most witnessed.
Oh, and getting a tattoo does not hurt. Just saying, Jim!!!
I struggle with getting the confirmation youth (grades 7-9) to do much in worship on Sundays. The young people tend to be extra sensitive and have a difficult time doing things in front of adults. They love doing skits in confirmation classes, but say they don’t want to do them in front of “the old people.” When I point out that I’m one of “the old people,” they say, “But you’re different!” lol Not sure if that’s good or bad! Few will read or even greet, but I keep trying! I’m in the process of figuring out how to involve families and/or mentors in the process. I’m not into making it a “requirement” for the kids; that doesn’t seem to be a very positive way of encouraging faith building.
I think it is awesome Geri that you have such a great pre-h.s program! That is cross generational if you are inviting others to sing and to tell faith stories. I love this idea. I am going to look into getting more faith stories shared in our groups! Thanks!
I’m gonna push back a little on the tattoo thing, from a biblical and a woman’s perspective. First, I love the image in Isaiah 49, where the people are saying God has forgotten them, and God asks, can a mother forget her child? and then goes on to say, v. 16, see, I have inscribed you in the palm of my hand…surely “skin deep,” but so much more, unable to be washed away or marked out. Now, as a woman, I know what “skin deep” really is like, because of wearing make-up. If you males wear make-up, then you’ll know too – a person can hide maaaany flaws behind that because it only is as deep as the skin. But I have a tattoo of a shell with water coming out of it (bonus points if you know that symbol!) on my left ankle, and it cannot be washed away ever, and I am always marked. Thus, for me, a tattoo (or a carving, as God suggests) is really a permanent change – maybe not at the DNA level, I appreciate that twist to the metaphor, but let me push the metaphor a different way: if you’re not BORN to the faith, i.e. come to it through your cells, you CAN still be marked with the faith in a permanent way, like a tattoo.
Another big struggle in the Methodist church as a whole, is that we haven’t modernized and updated our large youth retreats. For many churches, this weekend retreat allowed parents from the congregation to see their kids, both their biological kids, and their spiritual kids, really bathed in their own faith light for a weekend. I’ve had parents in the past who have talked about how they didn’t realize their youth knew all the words to many of their favorite church songs by heart, that their kids have a mission focus in their lives, etc. It’s a prime time to connect these parents to our church kids. Our struggle, is that these two weekend retreats haven’t updated in over two decades. They are still running the same formats, the same workshops, and often times revolving through the same speakers without much change. That, and the cost for the…40 hour retreat has skyrocketted to 150 dollars per youth, which most of my large families cannot afford to do. Even local churchs are no longer available to offer the amounts of scholarships needed. It’s my hope that an overhaul of these retreats can happen, and that we can also tap back into the greater church to offer more funding for this adventure, that brings so many youth and adults togeter.
We’ve begun to scrutinize our failing to pull in numbers Wednesday night service, and are making some changes to make it more cross generational. We will be moving the service straight into the Fellowship hall in November, to where many of our families hang out following our community meal. We’re also looking at incorporating more progressive things into our service, such as music videos, contemporary music, etc. Another thing we are focusing on, is creating a more family friendly “hang out” atmosphere in the church. Our fellowship areas should feel more like home kitchens and living rooms, where people are encouraged by their surroundings to stay and chat with each other.
One thing that I’ve done in the past, is to invite the youth to help out with church dinners even dinners for presbytery (synod) gatherings. They get to come and work with the older congregation members –preparing food, serving/ cleaning tables, and even dishes. The kids get a free home style meal out of the deal, and the older folks get help and a chance to interact with the younger generation. Everybody benefits, and (even if they don’t realize it), they are building cross generational relationships.
I did just flip through a bunch of old church newsletters. The congregation I am part of is very patriotic and I’ve noticed/participated in special services/portions of the service that recognize and honor the men and women of our Armed Forces. In a way these have kind of blossomed into cross-generational opportunities as some of the WWII vets shared their stories of faith and survival with me and the youth. Also, while observing our worship services with a different lens the past couple Sundays, I’m happy to report that youth are included in a variety of different ways during the worship service (ringing the church bell, serving as an acolyte, serving as ushers, helping record sermons so they can be mailed to folks, etc.). Beyond worship services, I’m in the process of developing/implementing initiatives such as simply sharing a meal at my home with different members of the congregation every couple weeks. From there I may attempt to get some small groups to meet at various homes of congregation members. We’ll see what happens.
I think we miss the mark many times on this. However, since I have been there (5 years), I do a Multi-generational (cross-generational) Church school up to 5 times a year-first day of Church school, first Sunday in Advent, Palm Sunday, last Sunday of Church school, and Pentecost. We don’t hold regular Church school classes, instead, everyone meets together in the large dining room and we learn together. It’s fun to watch the oldest in the church mixing and sharing stories with the youngest among us. I am working on bringing the Four Keys into regular conversation in our church, and love the idea of getting the Four Key cards to everyone. I love Summer’s idea of “Tea for Teens”, although a little different, we are doing a Veteran’s Dinner next Sunday, where the youth group are honoring the veteran’s of our church, and it is expanding to our neighborhood. We will have a short worship and program, and a time for each vet to share a story with the youth. I think this is such an important issue, and will continue to work on ideas to introduce conversation among the cross generations in every opportunity possible.
We are just in the “birthing process” of cross+generational activities and Vibrant Faith focus. I am integrating more adult presence and participation in the confirmation program and plan to involve the youth in more visible ways in worship. Last week our Church Council processed through the “Checking Your Faith Pulse” questionnaire, and I KNOW it opened a few eyes. There is resistance, as you warned, Jim, but there is also enthusiasm and people embracing the ideas put forth. The 4 keys are so helpful in planning and thinking things through! And I love the ideas that just keep coming from these blogs! Thanks, everyone! Oh and “P.S” ~ I love many of the tattoos that I see on others, but would never get one myself! My daughter-in-law has a rose on her ankle that is very delicate and beautiful. Hopefully, our faith practices will run much deeper than “skin-deep tattoos!”
My frustration in teaching confirmation has been leading me to change focus to discipleship formation instead of filling their heads with stuff! I believe that we can “catch” faith when we listen to each others’ faith stories. So every month, we interviewed different adults from age 30 to 90, as part of our class.
The best part was Family Sunday. It’s child focused worship and I do something dramatic with the kids rather than preach a sermon. One Sunday the students were TV reporters – they shared what they had learned and then all the kids joined us as we walked through the congregation interviewing people. They shared some amazing stories – It was meaningful to everyone, from young to old.
For a long time in our church, family ministry meant providing opportunities for older and younger generations to come together and eat. We have a Thanksgiving Dinner with turkey bingo, a Fat Tuesday chili cook-off, etc. I’ve been trying to get the YFMT team to think bigger… what can we do to actually build faith formation in generations together? (although food can be a great way to do it too!) We have a Milestone program – and celebrate about about 8 milestones a year – and since I’ve started using the Vibrant Faith Milestone model, I feel there is more of a purpose to do the milestones. It’s more than giving a kid a Bible — but it’s equipping the family to use that Bible at home, and then teaching the congregation how to use the Bible during worship as well. Sometimes we read our Gospel out of the SPARK story Bible … the adults and the kids love it
We’ve also started being really intentional about having a child or youth read in worship each week, as well as families being greeters and communion assistants together. It has been difficult to convince everyone that this is a necessary practice, but for the most part, people are getting on board.
I’m finding that a lot of parents at church feel really unequipped to pass on faith to their kids at home, for a variety of reasons. It’s going to be part of my plan to work on equipping them to do so… primarily through the 4 keys.
Peace!
Cross generational ministry is definitely completely missing at the congregation I am currently serving. We have started a monthly family event but are still working on getting the older generation to participate. One thing my home congregation started a few years ago is Cherish Our Children which is a prayer ministry where the older members pray for the younger (0-25 years). It is also an organization that works to prevent the sexual exploitation of children. It was great to know that there was one other person out there praying for me. I am hoping that we will be able to start up that same ministry here at Bethany in the near future.
I am also hoping to find ways to teach families how they can integrate the Four Keys into daily life and how we can get the Milestone ministry integrated into the culture of this congregation. Not sure how yet, but we are moving in the right direction. In a way, I am hoping that it will turn into a tattoo on the culture of the church where the only way you can remove it is through painful laser surgery
I’m raising my hand…yes; our church has missed the mark on bringing generations together. However, I’m praying to change that!
I have implemented family nights for our whole church as a family-first month no one showed, but we are trying a few more times! Upon return of school, I looked for things I could do TODAY! So, I loaded up the kids and we went to Wal-mart. I spent twenty dollars on some bright print fleece and craft foam. We then made sashes (like safety patrol) with a foam heart pinned to each one with a saying the kids came up with like “Come to the Lord” , “Bless you” and “Jesus loves you”. We had a ton of fun making them, but the best part was the reaction of the congregation. For our Saturday evening service at 5:00, I planted my kids outside for greeting (the joys of being a youth director’s kid and being the guinea pig-but honest they did so willingly). So many people commented on them and love having kids greet. On Sunday morning we pulled a few extra kids and they greeted for both services, and were my communion helpers! The kids greeted everyone through the door. Then they also stood at the challis return for communion. They just smiled at people and said “Jesus Loves you”. We had an elder man in tears! This was honestly the Sunday that I had the most people ever talk to me. They love the ideas and the “new energy” with the kids helping. NOW…to keep it up!
In the past at another church, I did a “Tea for Teens”. The “senior” ladies (and men were invited too, but didn’t show) came into church for cookies and tea. We talked about our faith and passing it on. Then we pulled names from our youth and they made a commitment to send notes to their teen at least twice a month. We kept it anonymous until a set date where the teens and the elders had a lunch planned at the church. It was great encouragement to the teens, and the women felt they were being of great use. I hope to do this again soon.
Many Blessings,
Summer
Ps…the pain from a tattoo isn’t that bad
I have an apple blossom across my right foot with three buds. And a floating leaf even though the flower is whole. It stands for “new beginnings” for me and my babes…it is my reminder that I am strong enough to stand up and put my best foot forward even when things seem to break away. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13.
Summer, that is so amazing! I love that idea of using the crossing guard gear! We too are lacking cross generational activities. I am praying also to be more intentional about it. I have in the past had our high school Bible study at one of the senior living centers. We mixed everyone up so that each youth was with an older member of our church. It was great when we did “Pair Share” during the Bible Study. We also did a group building activity that was a hoot to be a part of. I can’t wait to try it again with the DRAG Big formula. Something more intentional and more frequent I would like to do would be once a month on Wed nights. Our Wed night program is for Pre-H.S. We have dinner every week that parents sign up and provide and once a month we have a pot-luck. Every other week we have closing in the sanctuary after classes and our H.S. band leads all the children and youth in several songs, prayers and we sometimes have a “faith story” from someone in our congregation. I would like to invite cross generations to come to the pot-luck and have an opening after the pot-luck for everyone to be a part of then have the pre-H.S. go to classes. I’m going to try this next month. I will let you know how it works.